Never tip more than a quarter.
	Hum along at the concert.
	Signal left; turn right.
	Help fools part with their money.
	Practice the art of limp handshakes.
	Read other people's mail.
	If the mistake is in your favor, don't correct it.
	Use sexist innuendos to get more attention.
	Give little kids clothes for their birthdays.
	Fire people by phone.
	Cut people off in the middle of their sentences.
	Add insult to injury.
	Drive 50mph in the passing lane.
	Take more than ten items to the express checkout line.
	Rake the leaves into your neighbor's yard.
	Mumble.
	Ask people how much they make.
	Tailgate the elderly.
	Tell your kids to try even harder.
	Tear articles from magazines in the doctors waiting room.
	Put sticky syrup cans back in the cupboard.
	Leave your thumbprints on photographs.
	Develop a truly tasteless foul mouth.
	Drum your fingers during other people's presentations.
	Leave the price tags on presents.
	Don't refill the ice cube tray.
	Always be right.
	Sneer at people who try hard.
	Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the parking lot.
	Pledge money that you won't be sending.
	Crack your knuckles.
	Reserve compliments for people who can do you some good.
	Treat underlings as such.
	Argue with everybody.
	Touch the paintings at the museum.
	Insinuate, implicate and insist.
	Threaten lawsuits.
	Pass the buck.
	Flaunt it.
	Toss pants with tissues in the pockets into the washing machine.
	Prevaricate, obfuscate and complicate.
	Record over a borrowed VCR tape.
	Tell people they are in your will even if they aren't.
	Don't get caught.
	Ask for a rush job except when there is a charge.
	When giving directions, leave out a turn or two.
	Dream up a special request for waiters and waitresses.
	Assume every umbrella is yours.
	Pry.
	Don't make up your mind.
	Practice passive aggression.
	Try whining.
	Remind people who lose their job that they probably should have worked harder.
	Accuse, confuse and refuse.
	Talk with your mouth full.
	Comment on weight gain of others.
	Ask her if the diamond ring is real.
	Keep a store of wisecracks for tense and serious occasions.
	If it feels good, do it.
	Don't give to charities unless you get something back.
	Add the straw that breaks the camel's back.
	Take but don't give phone messages.
	Tuck a twenty-dollar bill or two in with your driver's license so the trooper will catch the hint.
	Tell people what you think they want to hear.
	Notice good ideas and pass them off as your own.
	Put the gals in the office in charge of the coffee.
	Make jokes about terrorists at the boarding gate.
	See if you can be the first one off the plane even if you are sitting by the window.
	Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner or hotel reservations.
	Don't volunteer for the back seat and never take the middle one.
	Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.
	Give unsolicited advice.
	Don't do anything until you have been asked twice.
	Put off tomorrow whatever you can do the day after tomorrow.
	Change channels without asking.
	Underline in other people's books.
	Call the wife "the little women."
	If you can't think of anything nice, say something nasty.
	Be judgmental.
	Focus on winning and to Hell with how you play the game.
	Free cable TV is only a shady electrician away.
	Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
	Hold out until the other guy gives in.
	Revenge is sweet; get some.
	Adjust your underwear in public.
	Curse the umpire at a Little League game.
	If you do something nice, make sure everyone knows about it.
	Bribe kids; they're easy.
	Needle, meddle, coddle, diddle, fiddle.
	Be a perfectionist in absolutely everything.
	Put a too cute message on your answering machine.
	Dish it out but don't take it.
	Support the death penalty.
	For parking violations.
	Apologize a lot but don't change.
	Change the rules to suit your needs.
	Lie to your therapist and sit in her chair.
	Repeat yourself.
	Repeat yourself.
	Don't know when to stop.
	Vividly describe a hysterectomy when the entree arrives.
	Have belching contests in restaurants.
	Make the same mistake twice.
	Pee in the swimming pool.
	Wear golf shoes on newly polished wooden floors.
	Always have an ulterior motive.
	Take the biggest piece.
	Expectorate on the sidewalk.
	Walk your pit bull without the leash.
	Forget the punch line, but don't let that stop you from telling jokes.
	Race the old woman for the last bus seat.
	Take cheap shots.
	Change your mind.
	Blame the victim.
	Whistle a happy tune - over and over.
	Be vague.
	Assign names to your body parts, like "winkie."
	Serve fish with the head still on.
	Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus.
	Get into heated arguments about the weather.
	Open the casket for one last look.
	Fart in cramped public places.
	Ask how people are, but don't wait for a response.
	Assume the authority but not the responsibility.
	Procrastinate and someone else will surely do it.
	Use more plastic.
	Split hairs.
	Cut corners.
	Call your spouse by the name of an old flame.
	Heads I win, tails you lose.
	Get light bulbs from the hall when you need them in the apartment.
	Make fun of all accents.
	Ask your parents and grandparents how much they plan to leave you.
	Tell long, boring stories.
	Bitch, bitch, bitch.
	Swear this time you mean it - really.
	Remind friends of stupid things they did ten years ago.
	Buy it, wear it, return it.
	Ask if a present is returnable.
	Call friends during the Super Bowl to talk out your problems.
	Don't tell vegetarians about the meat in the casserole.
	Keep saying, "That's nice."
	Brag about your new fur in a pet store.
	Convince other people to take risks you wouldn't touch.
	Eat out with friends and "forget your wallet."
	Be nothing if not critical.
	Sulk.
	Put everyone on the speakerphone.
	Refuse to have a nice day.
	Alternately raise and lower you voice to make people question their hearing.
	Keep asking, "Are we there yet?"
	Belittle, belabor and betray.
	Refuse collect calls from your family.
	Drink your roommates last beer.
	Wallow in self-pity.
	Make scary faces at babies.
	Recommend untrustworthy auto mechanics.
	Tell everyone they should be in therapy.
	Lie with statistics.
	Say coffee is decaf when it isn't.
	Wear taps on your shoes.
	Learn to recognize greenhorns and sitting ducks.